Graduating Senior Q & A Spotlight: Xaiver & Brent

by Brent Baker

1. What was your first impression of Xavier?

My first impression of Xavier was a big, quiet middle school boy (I looked “up” to him almost from day one…) who didn’t know how to interact well with strangers. And I could tell almost immediately I was perceived as a stranger. Though many of Xavier’s friends were involved in the mentor program, I could still tell it felt strange for him to have a mentor. Xavier didn’t reject me by any means, but he was slow to enjoy my company, questions, and role in his life.
Consequentially, one of my first goals as a mentor was to find out what role (1) Xavier wanted me to play in his life and (2) what role I needed to play in his life.

2. What is one of your favorite memories with each other?

One of my favorite memories with Xavier before his graduation weekend was the day we drove together to a campsite at a lake where Mercy Street was hosting an event. It was the first time
we spent an entire day together instead of a period of a few hours. I think Xavier was surprised I had decent taste in music and I learned that day that it was possible for an individual to have
a 12-dollar meal at McDonald’s (Xavier ordered four cheeseburgers and a milkshake and fries). Though that was a couple years into the mentorship program, it was truly the first time I sensed that Xavier actually enjoyed spending time with me. Though a friendship-relationship is not absolutely essential to a mentoring relationship, it sure does help build trust and secures the longevity of the relationship. If you can enjoy one another you can stick together much longer.

3. What has been most difficult about this relationship?

I work in with high school students as a major part of my job/career, so I am familiar with the age-barrier in mentoring relationships. But when you consider not only age-barriers,
but cultural-social barriers, it creates a more difficult situation. The cultural-social side is the tougher part because it means at no point in my life can I relate to some of Xavier’s everyday
circumstances. It’s one thing to say, “When I was your age I experienced that” and sense rolling eyes from a teenager. But it’s another thing to say, “At no point in my life have I known
what that is like” and sense rolling eyes from a teenager. Breaking through that cultural-social barrier has been more difficult. The teenager isn’t mature enough to know that you do not have to share common circumstances to relate to one another’s stories. So building that understanding and trust takes time, questions, and the mentor seeking to understand the mentee without necessarily receiving anything in return.

4. How has the Lord transformed you in this relationship?

I am convinced that whatever role I feel called to and find myself in, God is just as interested in what he is doing in my life as in the life of the person or group I am trying to reach and serve. I am no less God’s child than Xavier, and the care God has for him is no more or less than the care he has for me. So though this program may seem beneficial for the “recipient” and solely an act of service from the “donor”, the truth is much different. Giving away your life is just as important as gaining it from Someone else. And we are never more transformed to the image of Christ than when we offer our life for someone else. When we do that, it changes us.
Specifically speaking, I have seen myself become more patient in pursuing others through my relationship with Xavier. Many say you care about someone as you share things in common, and there is truth in that. But I personally have learned to care for someone with whom I have little in common. And it reminds me of the patient pursuit and love of God for me. Xavier, in this sense, has been my mentor.

5. Favorite thing to do together?

Xavier and I love to eat hamburgers and fries, go to Best Buy, talk about football, and even dream about what his future might look like (though I probably enjoyed that aspect more than he did).  Continue Reading...