Camp Memories by Ashleigh Phillips

Ashleigh (2nd from the left on the bottom row) & her cabin!

Love hard.  Those are the only words I heard as I prayed about spending the week at Pine Cove with Mercy Street. It was early Sunday morning and I had decided to go just a few days before.  I had been hoping to hear a little bit more that day.  I'm not sure exactly what.  But two words, Lord?  Love hard.

I drove down with the girls in my cabin: 8th grade girls. I was nervous. See, at that age they are old enough to realize that I am not, and never have been, cool. They probably figured this out about 5 minutes into the drive when I tried to lighten the silence by playing a Toby Mac cd. He was really cool in the 90s. 

It didn't take me long to learn names. Jada with the awesome hair. Shelby with the gentle smile. Daisha with the servant heart. Vivica with that explosive laugh. Brandi with observant eyes. Jaquelyn with the swag. These were my girls. They were beautiful and full of life. They were also slow to get ready in the morning, even slower to actually leave the cabin. They were loud during quiet hour and silent during camp cheers. They did not want to run between activities. And anytime there was a 12 year old boy around they pretended not to know me.  So there we were at Pine Cove, between the pool and the carnival and the horseback riding and the archery and the blobbing and the basketball, I ran and cheered and timed showers and prayed and prayed and prayed. 

These girls were strong. And it catches my heart because life has demanded they be strong. They've built these walls so high it can feel impossible to get through. But if we're shut out, how much more are they trapped within? Love has to be harder than their walls. Harder than my fears and insecurities. Harder than is safe. There is no restraint in this love. No withholding. It's total abandonment to a moment, to a week, to a cabin of 8th grade girls.

Ashleigh and her Pine Cove Counselor

I drove home by myself the last night of the trip. Completely spent, I was facing upcoming travel and work deadlines with nothing left but a really awkward t-shirt tan. And the prayer that I prayed that night was a simple one. God, I said, I'm exhausted.  But then I saw all these stars up in that Texas sky and I thought about how much more lies ahead for us, how we're here for a little while to do this one thing: to be relentless in our love. And then I was glad to be exhausted because earth seems the right place to be tired. Love hard.